Why people have affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on from millennium. Extramarital relationships can be loaded with problems, cause misery, and other troubles. Plus you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness matter, money, age difference, faith upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I shall define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating for married.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are seeking extramarital affairs. I think mainly though it is only the human nature, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us get away the world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone can turn the craving on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos society has erected against married dating. For many people the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not injure your spouse or anyone else? You would need to lessen the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest grouping, gigantic actually. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they feel comfy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to consider. Your funds are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An affair sometimes solves the problem while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a ordinary groung I fear. One or the other, generally the guy is sexually neglecting his female for a tones of reasons. As a man I actually appreciate you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be compassion is not here, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have simply grown separately, our ordinary interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair